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Monday, March 11, 2013

I'm Dorky and I know it...

Somebody once said that one of the best qualites that people can can have is the ability to laugh at themselves. I don't know who, and I'm too focused to look it up right now. But boy oh boy do I spend a lot of time laughing at myself. I do dumb things. Once, I almost superglued my eye shut. I'm not kidding. (I blogged about this a long, long time ago, back in the days of Myspace. See below!) The photo above, is me. It was a few years ago when I was still working in the office. We got a flier in the mail that day for vision care, and I carefully cut eye holes in it and then held it up to my face every time someone walked by my desk that day. When the person walking by laughed, I laughed. My friend Jodi laughed so hard that I went into a fit of uncontrollable hysterics and nearly hyperventilated. I couldn't catch my breath. It was completely ridiculous. I'm incredibly clumbsy. I dropped an unopened can of soda once, and it exploded all over my kitchen, even hitting the ceiling. I was so worried about the dark soda staining the white ceiling, that I scrambled to clean that before I starteds cleaning anything else, and almost fell off the countertop when I slipped in a puddle of soda. I broke my ankle in three places... walking. And if those weren't enough reasons to laugh at myself, I'm also a total dork. I make stupid jokes all the time, and I am the FIRST one to laugh at them. I can't even tell a joke to another person without cracking up halfway through it. I tell my kids all the time, that the sooner they get used to the fact that they were born into a family of weirdos, the less embarrassed they'll get. Last summer, on the way to an Iron Maiden concert, my husband made a comment about the driver in front of us not using his blinker. I asked which one. Tim answered "the old man, in the 5.0" and I looked right at him and asked, "with the ragtop down so his hair can blow?" I was already laughing when he said, "Don't, I beg you..." and then of course, I busted into a full rap session of 'Ice Ice Baby', and all he could do was roll his eyes and laugh. I'm goofy in the head, and I ain't afraid to show it... show it... I'm dorky and I know it... Here's the blog from back in the day (2006) about the super glue. Enjoy. Okay so the other night, I'm getting ready to jump in the tub to relax, since nobody's home to bother me.... and I realize that my nail is lifting. So, I go locate a tube of super glue, and I'm working on trying to get the nozzle of the super glue under my fingernail, when all of a sudden, I see a stream of clear liquid shooting toward my eyes. I jammed my eyes shut and scrunched up my face.... and narrowly missed having super glue get into my eyes. Unfortunately, it did get all over my face. My skin was glued together everwhere that I had any creases - my forehead, my nose, my laugh lines around my eyes, everywhere. I had one eye glued shut, eyelashes glued together, my eyebrows were glued to my forehead.... it sucked. It took hours of soaking my face in hot water and peeling layers of skin mixed with super glue off of my face, arms and chest. I wound up having to sacrifice half of one eyebrow, several eyelashes, and at least 2-3 layers of skin on my nose and above one eye. I am thankful that it didn't get IN my eyes, but... this still royally sucks. So in the mean time, until my eyebrow grows back, I'm trying to pencil it in - all the while trying not to look too surprised or angry. I hope they grow back fast! Til next time, watch out for the Super Glue! It really does BOND SKIN INSTANTLY! And it hurts like a bitch to get it off of your skin once it does!

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