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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Can't Sit Still

Peace and quiet are precious commodities. So why is it so hard to just sit still and enjoy the few precious moments of it that I get? Tim's still at work - he put in 15 hours yesterday and is up to almost 10 today. My mom stopped by and picked up the kids about two hours ago to play at her house. I was so excited to have some quiet alone time! I thought about a long hot bubble bath with a glass of wine, but after looking at the pile of toys in the tub and dreading what might be lurking under the suction-cup-anti-slip froggies stuck to the bottom, I decided against it. I will admit, I relaxed a bit while putting on my makeup and I walked around the house pantsless for a while, munching on the last of the Girl Scout cookies. But the whole "chillout" feeling ended pretty quickly because the next thing I knew, I was throwing in a load of laundry, sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor, vacuuming the living room, and putting toys away. WTF, right? I should be enjoying my alone time, having a beer and vegging out on the couch. I work from home, so I spend every waking moment with my kids. It's a constant barrage of "mommy I have to go potty" and "he's looking at me again". Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade my kids for the world, but it will be really nice when they're both in school and I get a little break every day. I spend those precious seconds after I get them in their car seats and close the doors to the van mentally prepping myself to be locked in a confined space with all the whining and begging for happy meals and car-trip questions like "are we there yet?" and "can we eat somewhere?" and then I take a deep breath and get in. But when I'm faced with at least a few hours of total alone time, I can't even let myself watch an entire tv show without feeling like I'm being counterproductive. Is it just a mom thing? It's frustrating.

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